the great validator in the sky

sometimes with new people i wonder. am i weird? am i too much?
especially if i'm lead to believe i can be "open."
how open is "open?"
do they really mean that?
what's the limit? can i even abide by a limit once i get started?
do i make people uncomfortable? should i try to be more conscious of this?
how often do i say the wrong thing? or share too much information?
how often do i ask questions i shouldn't ask?

sometimes in moments i feel like what i say or do is okay, but then later on in a different moment when i don't feel the same way, i feel remorse or shame and i wish i could take something back. i'll never admit it out loud. there's no point. once it's done, it's done. but sometimes i dwell and wish i could take something back.

i don't want to put social or mental restraints on myself but what if i am socially isolating myself when i'm trying to be who i want to be?

i wish there was this official sort of great validator that i could go to and run these things by. it'd be nice to go see the great validator in his great validating office, sit in his big comfy validating client chair, snacking from his antique validating candy dish, probably with worthers orginals in it. we'd chit chat for a bit and then he'd look at me and he'd say

"Justin, just let your freak flag fly."
and i'd be all like
"word great validator. word."

because in my head. that's exactly what the great validator would say.
if the great validator of my head thinks i'm okay, maybe i'm alright after all.