strangers at the bus stop

and after i do this for you, i will never get out of bed again. you might feel bad for a day or so, maybe a week, but you'll get over it soon enough.

i will start building a little fort around my mattress of all of my necessities so i never have to leave or talk to you ever again. i will only see the young man who brings me my groceries and i will look like this:

but you will never know this about me because i will not let you in.

i will always be warm, comfy and relaxed and my life will be so much better. it would have to be. i'll spend my days in books, porn, television game shows, records and fashion magazines and you will not be there. or anyone else who could fuck it or me up.

i will not get out of bed. i will not let you in. i will not take your calls. i will not be nice.

i will act like a child. i will be self destructive. i will eat what tastes good. i will speak poorly of you to your friends when i send them christmas cards.

you are stupid and i don't need you
and i will have control.
i will have control.
i will have control.


you: what is this all about?
me: ....
you: ....well?
me: JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE ME ALL THE TIME, IT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T EXIST. I FEEL THINGS TOO!
you: what the hell are you talking about? that doesn't even make any sense. i don't understand.
me: YOU STARTED ALL OF THIS. YOU PARTICIPATED. YOU RETURNED EVERYTHING. YOU ASKED FOR MORE.
you: okay. wow. look, i'm sorry... but i still don't really follow. are you okay? can i do anything to make you feel better?
me: NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY CAN NOT. ACTUALLY, YES. YES YOU CAN. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. SHUT THE FUCK UP. LET'S ACT LIKE WE NEVER MET. WE'LL KEEP SITTING AT THE BUS STOP LIKE STRANGERS DO, WHO DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER. YOU CAN NOD, OR MAYBE SAY HELLO BUT WE ARE STRANGERS NOW. STRANGERS AT THE BUS STOP.
you: okay.
me: okay.
you: hello.
me: hi.